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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Only I Would Get Lost in a Hospital

Alright, so after work I headed up to Orange to visit Miss Natalie and her new baby boy. I used my awesome new Garmin to guide the way because I wasn't sure where exactly the hospital was, although I had an idea. So we're nearing the establishment I thought was the hospital. The Garmin said that I needed to go about one more block and turn right, but I saw a parking garage and thought, "Well what does the Garmin know? I can just park here."

Mistake #1.

So I park, walk into the building from the parking garage and realize I'm in the Cancer Unit, so I figure since I'm on the second floor, I can just take the elevator down and go to the front lobby.

Mistake #2.

I take the elevator down and I'm back outside in the parking garage, but there are bear pawprints painted on the sidewalk and a sign that says, "Follow the signs for the Visitor's Shuttle". So I do. After a quick shuttle ride, I walk into what I believed to be my final destination.

Mistake #3.

Turns out I was in the entirely wrong hospital. I was in CHOC; I needed to be in St. Joseph's. The guy at the lobby desk told me to go outside, cross the street and look for the Lobby entrance right by the Emergency Room entrance. I walked, but I didn't realize that I needed to go AROUND the corner at the ER to find the Lobby entrance. Across the street, however, I did see St. Joseph Medical Plaza and a teeny tiny little door that said "Lobby Entrance" on a door there. So I went over there.

Mistake #4.

I go up and ask someone at the desk where the Maternity ward was. Oh, I'm in the wrong building! What I need to do is walk up those stairs, take the bridge back across the street, walk down the stairs and find the "South Lobby" entrance with a security guard. Found the entrance, but there was no security guard so I followed someone else inside and--miracle of miracles--I found the Front Entrance Lobby!!

I even ran into Natalie's in-laws and stepdaughters in the Lobby, as well, so we all went up to the room together. Benjamin is the cutest thing I've ever seen and has more hair on his head than any baby I've seen. I'll be going back tomorrow to spend more time with mommy and baby--although I'll be parking in the correct hospital this time.

I learned a valuable lesson tonight: Unless my Garmin says, "You have arrived at your destination", I will not presume to know better and forge my own path. Second lesson that I learned, I need a smaller Garmin that I can carry around on my person at all time to guide me to precisely where I need to be.

Tonight served as a brutal reminder of just how directionally impaired I truly am.

Work Antics

I'm sorry to say this, but I have to be frank:

People are stupid.

I work in a call center and sometimes have the divine opportunity to speak with people are, shall we say, the duller tools in the shed and the dimmer crayons in the box. Anyhoo. I just had to share this. This is a conversation (verbatim) with someone who called in and got my line:
Me: “Can I get the last name on your account? (pause) Perfect, thank you. And what are the first names?”
Caller: Long Pause. “What do you mean?”
Me: “The first names on your account.”
Caller: “Like my name and my husband’s name?”
Me: “Yes. What are your first names?”
Caller: “I don’t get what you’re asking. You want to know my first name?”
Seriously?? You guys are a neutral third party. Was my question in any way, shape, or form too ambiguous to understand what exactly it was the I was asking for??

You know, you get five or six calls like that in a row and you really start to crave chocolate or vodka or both on an unnatural level...

Monday, January 17, 2011

Baby Ben & the Big Bear Birthday Bash

Don't you just love alliterations?

Happy Monday, everyone!!!!!!!

OK, ok. That was false enthusiasm, but I am genuinely happy that work is done, the fire is roaring, and Jordan is cooking dinner for us. Best way to end a really crappy Monday.

One wonderful, incredible, amazing thing about today is that the world has been graced with the presence of baby Benjamin Kioshi. My lovely friend Natalie had her beautiful baby boy this morning and is now a MOMMY!! I am going to go up to visit mommy and baby tomorrow and meet my new nephew. Sooo excited!!! :)



Welcome to the world, Baby Ben!!! <3
 So. Read the following and tell me: Am I or am I not the awesomest girlfriend ever. Jordan's birthday is coming up on Monday. We're kinda strapped for cash right because we have V-E-G-A-S coming up on Superbowl weekend (sidebar: WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!) so I was fretting about what to do for Jordan's birthday present. A friend of ours text us earlier last week inviting us to go up to Big Bear and split a two-bedroom timeshare with him and his girlfriend and spend the weekend snowboarding, which is what Jordan really wanted to do on his birthday. We passed because Vegas is coming up so soon and it was too expensive.

On Friday morning, as we were getting ready for work, I asked Jordan what he wanted to do for his birthday and he replied in this really bummed out voice, "Snowboarding. But I can't do that. So...I guess we can just go see a movie or something. I can see a movie for free on my birthday." Well that did it for me. I conspired with our friend, did some fancy footwork with my finances and... I'm covering the expenses for our hotel and his lift ticket so he can, in fact, go snowboarding for his birthday.

Go ahead. You can say it. As a girlfriend, I rock. :) It will be a lovely weekend, though. I'm looking forward to it. The guys will hit the slopes early Saturday morning while Tasha and I go walk around Big Bear Village and check out the shops if we're feeling ambitious--OR we can just hang out at the resort and get drunk while we wait for the guys to come home. I'm leaning towards choice #2, personally. LOL


Where we're staying @ Big Bear :)

OH--and what does everyone think about this Zodiac Sign Controversy??? I'm no longer a Gemini--all of a sudden I'm a Taurus?? Crazy!! At first I was all adamant about my sign, like I've been a staunch Gemini my entire life and I'll be damned if I change now. You'd think people were announcing that political parties had suddenly changed and all of a sudden Democrats were Republicans and vice versa the way some people are freaking out about it. I mean, I'm protective of my Zodiac sign and all but it's not like my world will crumble around me if someone tells me I'm a Taurus. And I do have to admit--after reading more about Gemini's and Taurus's... I do fall a bit more squarely in the Taurus camp after all, except for a few aspects. Who knew??



I am happy to hear that birds stopped falling dead from the skies and fish stopped washing up on shore dead. Either that, or my Ignorance Is Bliss strategy has finally started working and I'm just not hearing about it anymore. In any case, my paranoia about the world coming to an end in 2012 has decreased dramatically and I can relax once again. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tad nervous about that. Nervous enough to start going to church on Sundays? Not quite. But I was nervous enough to mention that we probably should start going. ;)

Oh and heads up all you Hell's Kitchen fans: Gordon Ramsey is gonna be on the Tonight Show tonight!! I think I might TiVo it. My TiVo has been acting up and erasing everything it records and I'm about ready to go all Office Space on it. We need to call the cable company and have them fix it because this is ridonculous. Yes. Ridonculous.

Jordan has another show at the Sandpiper in Laguna Beach tomorrow night. A Different Animal (which is the name for the collaborative group with Akronymz and First Time Offenders) will be going on at 9:30, so if you want to come check it out, feel free!! Remember: there was a chick brawl at their first show; I had to battle a Cougar at the second one...Who knows what will happen tomorrow?? I should probably wear some comfortable shoes just in case. You never know when ADA takes the stage... (Sidebar: I'm trying to convince them that it should be "A Different Breed" instead of "A Different Animal". I mean, the 'animal' hasn't changed--it's still music. But they've combined genres to create a different kind  of music...So 'breed' would be the logical choice...That could just be me, though). Opinions?

Anyhoo. I am going to enjoy the deeeeeeelish carne asada that Jordan just cooked and enjoy a Movie Night Monday.

Ciao!!!!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Julia Childs I Am Not

So. Let me just reiterate: I do not like cooking. I know I said I did in an earlier post, but I lied. I like baking, but cooking? Nope.

I attempted to make Beef Wellington in honor of Chef Ramsey this evening and he would have been appalled to see what the end product was. Not that it tasted bad--taste-wise, it was yummy--but the presentation left something to be desired. We had recorded this cooking show with Ramsey where he made his Beef Wellington so I attempted to follow along. Meh. I get frustrated too easily in the kitchen when things don't go accordingly and we're just lucky that dinner was actually cooked and I didn't wind up crying.

I'm going to be attending a dinner/seminar event tomorrow night on Human Trafficking in Garden Grove. I didn't realize this but apparently GG is very active in the fight against human trafficking. I wrote a huge paper on the topic in school and yes, I watched the Lifetime miniseries about it with Mira Sorvino. It's not exactly an appropriate dinner topic, but I was interested to see what the evening would be about. I'm covering it for the paper so that means next week I'll have two articles running. Yay!

I'm also excited because I'll get to use my shiny new Garmin my mom got me for Christmas. I am the most directionally-impaired person you'll ever meet. Seriously. If I exit a parking lot through a different exit I used to come in, I'll get confused and turned around. I pretty much always have to leave a good five-ten minutes for "U-Turn Time" if I'm going somewhere I've never been. It's pretty bad--even worse if you're on the receiving end of my very frustrated phone call while I'm driving around lost trying to get wherever you are. That is definitely not a fun time.

This weekend Jordan and Shane are going on their first father-son camp-out for the Boy Scouts. I just want one picture of them with Shane in his Boy Scouts uniform and I'll be a happy camper (pun definitely intended). They'll be up in Lake Arrowhead just for Saturday night, but that also means that I'll have the lovely, scrubbed-clean apartment all to myself. Girls night!! I'm trying to convince Jordan's sister to come down and spend time with her big brother's girlfriend. I haven't heard back from her yet though. In any case, I'll be watching all the movies and/or tv shows Jordan refuses to watch with me. Like House.

This evening is pretty quiet. Not much to report but I wanted to drop in and say hello. I'm feeling pretty tired and honestly, I'm dying to finish reading "Magic Study" by Maria V. Snyder. It's book #2 in its trilogy and I'm soooo happy that there's still one more left to read. I know. Huge dork. But this book is AWESOME! Totally recommend this series.

Oh and Jordan's random quote of the evening that totally cracked me up: "Thanks, baby. You're a doll. If dolls had dolls, you'd be their doll."

I thought it was amusing. :)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Cougars & SuperCross

Well here I am on a lovely Sunday evening... Jordan just returned from snowboarding with the guys. I just threw the last load of laundry in the washing machine (it's the simple joys in life like seeing empty laundry baskets in the closets that make me happy) and the cats are camped out on either ends of the couch snoozin' away.

What a weekend. After spending roughly two weeks indoors (except for going to work and back), I was pretty excited to actually go out and have some fun. And have some fun is precisely what we did. Friday night was Jordan's show at the Rib Joint in Dana Point. Not to speak ill of the restuarant, it felt more like we were in someone's basement instead of a restaurant. The ceilings were so low that anyone over six foot would have had to stoop if they stood up.

Anyhoo. When we first got there, we noticed a couple older ladies there. Some of you would classify them as 'cougars'. One of them had lowrider jeans that rode slow low her g-string was hanging out and the same could be said for the top half of her. If you get my drift. In any case, it was the whole package: Clothes that were twenty years too young for them, bleach blonde hair...The whole kitten caboodle. They seemed to be quite content knockin back mixed drinks in their own little corner of the bar...up until Akronymz and First Time Offenders went on.

All of a sudden, I look over and see Ms. Cougar Dana Point 2011 grinding and grabbing up on my boyfriend in the middle of one of his songs!! I'm not an overly jealous or possessive girlfriend, so I just started cracking up with everyone else, but then my friends started egging me on to do something and, well, she did get a little too grabby. So I had to at the very least make my presence known. After a swig of my friend's Corona, I went up on stage and hip-checked her oh-so-subtley so I could dance with my boyfriend. Thank you very much. I danced for a verse then left, so it wasn't a you're-making-an-ass-of-yourself moment. It was just a "Honey, you're old enough to be his mother and he has a girlfriend" moment. Extremely amusing.

At the end of the night, she and her girlfriend stumbled out of the car and into--yes, it's true--a Jaguar, slurring to one another that they both looked incredibly beautiful that night before they drove off to another bar to hit on other young men. I was told that at one point in the evening, they were in the ladies restroom together complaining about all the younger girls that were there because we were stealing the attention away from them.

And so, I shall henceforth be known as the Cougar Slayer.


Me, 1; Cougars, 0. Meow.

The show went really well, cougar-molestation aside. The guys killed it as usual and they even did a few new songs I didn't know they were working on. So far, something exciting has happened at every show so who knows what will happen next time. The video from Friday, I believe, will be up on YouTube (including the dance-off, I'm embarrassed to say) so maybe I'll post it up here. If my dancing was decent enough. I'm no dancer, that's for sure. ;)

Last night was SuperCross with the Jordan, the Shanester, Matt & Ryan. It was a lot of fun, albeit ridiculously cold at one point. The beer certainly helped to warm me up and I was incredibly happy I opted to drive Friday night for Jordan's show so he would drive Saturday night. Here are some pictures from the evening. Please excuse the beanie. It was Shane's and a seven-year-old's beanie didn't really fit my head. But I was cold, dangit!!!


Left to Right: Jordan, Me, Shane, Ryan & Matt


Me & Jordan @ SuperCross at Angel Stadium, Anaheim


Me & my two favorite boys: Jordan & Shane


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Operation: New York (& New Jersey) 2011

Wow is tomorrow really Friday?? I swear this week has flown by!!

OK, here's a moment of shameless plugging: Tomorrow night Jordan is doing a show in Dana Point. It's Akronymz & First Time Offenders at the Rib Joint! Any of you local folk, feel free to come on down. There's no cover and they'll go on around 10:00. Below is a YouTube video of one of their more recent shows at the Sandpiper in Laguna Beach. Three of the five songs are freestyling by Jordan and Nonsense (aka Clayton, his partner) while they just vibe with the band. If you're not busy and you're in the area, come down and see them again!





Saturday, I'll once again be Lois Lane. I'll be attending the SuperCross event at Angel Stadium in Anaheim. I'm covering it for the paper so I'll be working on my article after that. The nice thing, though, is that it won't run for another week so I have until next Sunday to turn it in. I'm giong to try to pick up another assignment next week, though, so I'll have two articles running in one week. It feels weird; I've been off from the paper for the past two weeks because of the holidays and I feel so lost without having an article to write. I'm excited to have a chance to use my shiny new digital voice recorder that Jordan got me for Christmas.

Check back at the end of the weekend for pictures from Jordan's show & the SuperCross on Saturday! :)

 Anyhoo. The great planning for the New Jersey/New York trip this summer has begun!! I need to get in touch with my bestie who's getting married this June--the reason for my trip back there. The Big Day is June 18, so I will definitely be present and account for that day as I am a bridesmaid. I need to find out if she needs me there a certain number of days prior to the 18th so I can cement the travel dates. But then, after (or before--depending on when I'm needed out there) the wedding, Jordan and I are going to be tourists in the City since he's never been and I am ridiculously addicted to New York. I love it and I miss it soooo much.

We'll be hitting Coney Island, Ellis Island & Lady Liberty, Central Park, Times Square and the Met along with anything else that's on the route of those hop-on, hop-off tour buses. But those are the Must-See's for Jordan. I've actually never been to Coney Island either so I'm pretty excited about that. We're going to tackle it the way we did for our DC trip this past summer: We'll both make a list of things we want to see, compare notes and narrow it down to a doable number of sites to see on our trip. It worked out splendidly on our DC trip. It may have been a combination of that and our awesome tour guide-slash-photographer, Shaun. He is a friend of ours that used to live out there.

Another major thing we want to do is check out local restaurant landmarks in Manhattan, the Village....Anywhere. We're slowly evolving into foodies and wine snobs, so we definitely want to appreciate the culinary & wine Must-See's of New York as well.

If anyone has any suggestions for sites/restaurants that we have to hit while we're in the tri-state area, please let me know!! I love New York, but I'm a Jersey girl, so I don't know the City as well as I'd like to. Just a heads up: We love steaks (we had the most delicious steak in DC at a restaurant called Rays the Steaks; if any of you know a place in NY that can indeed raise the stakes, please don't be shy!!).

I'm also going to give Jordan a "Before She Was Famous: MJ Edition" of my hometown in Jersey and make him taste a scrumptious Jersey bagel. Mmmmm I miss Bacon, Egg, & Cheese's on a Kaiser roll... ::Drool:: We'll also be seeing the family and the friends and it will be a wonderful trip.

This past summer, it was Operation: DC. This summer, it's Operation: New York. Next summer is the Big One. It'll be Operation: Europe. I'm excited about that one, but I can't wait to get back to the east coast again!! :)


photo courtesy of vacation-planet.com


Sunday, January 2, 2011

Nothing Resolved at UFC 125: Resolution

Happy New Year, everyone!

I hope everyone is fully recovered and your memory of your celebration Friday night is intact. Or at least that you've recovered photographs to help fill in the blank parts. ;) My New Year's was quiet. We stayed home and did a little drinking and...two days later, we're both still sick. This is day five now. I think I might have to go to the doctor's tomorrow.

I have a funny little story though. Proof that "Jersey Shore" really does suck the life out of you. I woke up this morning at six-thirty because someone decided to call my boyfriend's cell phone at that ungodly hour. Unfortunately, once I'm awake, there's no going back to sleep. So I stumbled out into the living room and, in my sleep-clogged mind, decided to actually watch an episode of the "Jersey Shore". About three hours later, I was sucked into a Jersey Shore marathon, watching "The Situation" talk a lot of sh*t, "Snooki" drink a lot of alcohol and everyone else just be stupid in general. And then... all of a sudden... I had no voice. It was gone. I tried screaming as loud and hard as I could and the only sound that came out was a whisper. That was at about ten o'clock so I went to wake up Jordan (he was thrilled--I mean, heartbroken that I had lost my voice. Truly, the concern he expressed for my disability was incredibly touching). In any case, he came out into the living room, snatched the remote control and put on the Buckaneers/Saints game and roughly thirty seconds later, boom! my voice came back. "Jersey Shore" stole my voice!! LOL Now, I know that's not really what happened, but the timing was eery and I won't be watching it anytime soon again. I mean, next time they could steal my sight or my hearing! ;)

We ordered UFC 125 last night to watch the Edgar/Maynard fight. OK, seriously?! A draw?? What the eff is that, judges?? You take the belt away from BJ Penn in a rather disappointing fight, during which Edgar did not clearly and decisively BEAT the champion. Yet in a fight where Maynard knocked Edgar flat on his *ss multiple times in the first round, then continue to give him a run for his money throughout the rest of the fight (I will give Edgar rounds 2 & 4; Maynard got 1 & 3; round 5 was a tough call, however in my opinion, Maynard pushed the pace and maintained octagon control throughout), you're going to call that a draw??? I noticed that Frankie took his belt and beat a hasty retreat after his interview with Joe Rogan with no comment on a clearly much-desired rematch. Maynard, on the other hand, although he was clearly extremely disappointed, apologized to his fans and stated that he would more than willing to do a rematch. We'll see what happens. Anthony "Showtime" Pettis (the new WEC lightweight champion after an incredibly shocking defeat over Ben Henderson) is supposed to fight UFC's lightweight champ since the two organizations have now combined, but I don't know if they'll have the Edgar/Maynard rematch before pitting Pettis against the true lightweight champ.

Edgar and Maynard square up at the weigh-ins Dec 31, 2010
photo courtesy of mmaforreal.com


I was pleased to see Nate Diaz lose by decision. Clay Guida, my favorite crazy Italian, enjoyed a victory by submission. In a very surprising fight, Brian Stann TKO'd Chris Leben while Brendan Vera got his nose rearranged by Thiago Alves. This fight was supposed to be his "come-back", but he only served as Alves's bongo drums by the third round. Alves took his face and after literally slapping Vera around with open-palmed hits, Alves beat out a quick little rhythm on the back of Vera's head. The fight that Jordan and I were most excited about was the Brad Tavares/Phil Barrone fight. We watched Tavares on the Liddell/Ortiz season of the Ultimate Fighter and instantly became Tavares fans, him being a fellow Hawaiian (like Jordan). He got in a little trouble at the beginning of the fight last night with the "New York Bad*ss", but ultimately knocked him out before the first round was over. Woo!

Also, something weird: I saw a different poster online for last night's fight that said the co-main event was supposed to be Shane Carwin versus Roy Nelson. I didn't hear anything about that. Anyone know anything about that??