Writer's Block & School Musings

AGH!!!!!!  Seriously the worst two words ever invented. I'm sure a writer created the term and I really wish they had come up with some that sounded a little less daunting. No examples come to mind, but I'm fairly certain that just thinking the term 'writer's block' makes the condition worse for writers. So that's pretty much where I'm at right now.

It absolutely kills me. I have a brilliant idea, which started out beautifully but I seem to have hit a wall at about 90 mph. I was really trying to wrap it up before school started, but thanks to this little setback, I doubt that will actually happen now. Ugh. So very frustrating, but I've learned that if I'm having trouble, I shouldn't force it because then it won't turn out the way I wanted. So I'm going to set it aside, let it rest for a little while and come back to it when the dreaded WB has passed.

Speaking of school, we're down to the very last week of Winter Break. I feel like it's been ages since I had any classes, papers, exams, quizzes... I'm so looking forward to going back... This month and a half off of school has confirmed for me that I really do not want to spend the rest of my life answering calls in a call center. Ultimately, I hope to work for a publishing house as an editor. That way I can spend my days doing two of my favoritest things in the world: reading and correcting people's grammar!

My dreaded Liberal Arts Math class begins next week, however. Cue horror movie music. I'm hoping that they call it "Liberal Arts" math, it's a course designed specifically for people who are pursuing degrees in the liberal arts field and want absolutely nothing to do with math. Maybe it will be a bit easier than the courses, say, an aspiring engineer would be taking. I've already informed Jordan and my mom that if I manage to pull off an A in that class, I expect a party and a parade. ;)

OK, well what was initially supposed to be a short post turned into a rambling one. So back I go to answering the same questions over and over again as the phones keep ringing.

Special Edition of "Did They Really Just Say That?"

More like, "Did they really just DO that". But anyway. I am on fire this week! I've been at work for about three hours--not even, actually. Two hours and 18 minutes. So. I got a good one for y'all.

A caller got to my line about a reservation that she booked for January 28th (I do timeshare exchanges for a living). She was booked for Panama City Beach, Florida. Remember that: Flo-ri-da. She had questions about the resort and then she said something funny. She said, "I need to know because I'm leaving the country in a week." Leaving the country? Well that's weird, because you live in Los Angeles and you're going to Florida so... How does that involve leaving the country?

Just to be the efficient customer service representative that I am, I went over her reservation with her: "Ma'am, you're booked at the Panama City Resort & Club in Panama City Beach, Florida."

Holy hell. She began screaming bloody murder. Apparently she was under the impression that she had booked a week in the country Panama. I spoke with the agent that booked the reservation for her, since it was done just recently, and she said that they were discussing Florida the entire time and she never mentioned the country Panama.

I tried explaining everything to her and apologizing for the mix-up. Unfortunately, I couldn't really get very many words out with her cutting me off every three seconds. She wound up hanging up on me after screaming, "You're eh-stupid, eh-stupid, eh-stupi, eh-stupid. America is eh-stupid!"

It may just be me, but if I'm booking an international vacation that involves very expensive airfare, I'm going to make damn sure that I'm booking the correct location before anything is finalized. That could just be me though.

Bottom line, folks, when you're talking about one location, please make sure the other person involved in the conversation is aware that you've switched countries and are now talking about somewhere else completely. Don't assume we can read your mind and we can just go, "Oh! Clearly she's now talking about the country Panama instead of Panama City Beach, Florida."

Because, again, we cannot predict the future, we cannot read minds... We're human.

Shocking, I know.

Another Round of "Did They Really Just Say That?"

This one is from last week, but it's too good not to share:

Me: Alright, sir, so whenever you're ready, I can take a Visa, MasterCard, or Discover for that payment.
Caller: I have a Visa card here. Do you want me to give you the number?

No, sir. I want you to hold it up to the phone and I'll just guess it.

People... Sometimes, there are no words... ;)

Work Antics

I'm sorry to say this, but I have to be frank:

People are stupid.

I work in a call center and sometimes have the divine opportunity to speak with people are, shall we say, the duller tools in the shed and the dimmer crayons in the box. Anyhoo. I just had to share this. This is a conversation (verbatim) with someone who called in and got my line:

Me: “Can I get the last name on your account? (pause) Perfect, thank you. And what are the first names?”
Caller: Long Pause. “What do you mean?”
Me: “The first names on your account.”
Caller: “Like my name and my husband’s name?”
Me: “Yes. What are your first names?”
Caller: “I don’t get what you’re asking. You want to know my first name?”

Seriously?? You guys are a neutral third party. Was my question in any way, shape, or form too ambiguous to understand what exactly it was the I was asking for??

You know, you get five or six calls like that in a row and you really start to crave chocolate or vodka or both on an unnatural level...

The Day Before the Day Before 2011

I am proud to say that I completed a full eight hours at the office without being sent home.

The HR manager in my office is germaphobic to a fault and if you so much as sneeze during flu season around her, you best believe you'll be sent home shortly after. I think the shortest time I've been at work was three minutes: walked in, got set up in my cubicle, coughed for about a minute and a half--which she heard, and was sent home shortly after that. Today I ducked her like crazy and convinced my boss (who wanted to send me home at 8:30am) that I was well enough to stay. Believe you me, I could hear my bed calling from 12 miles away (ahhh the beauty of not having to hit a freeway on the commute to work), but I'm going to Vegas in February and New York in June and I need my hours for pleasure, not pain!

So. Here we are. A mere 31 hours and 47 minutes away from 2011 (if my math is correct). Jordan (Gordon II, if you will--see "After East Coast Snow Storms..." for the Chef Ramsay reference--thanks Ryan!) and I are holed up in our apartment, both sniffling and sneezing and gargling salt water. Our plans for NYE are rapidly dwindling down to a Blockbuster night. Isn't champagne good for sore throats, though??

I was thrilled to receive this link on my Facebook from one of my fellow East Coasters today though. It's true. New Year's is saved and my faith in humanity is restored. I read an article about a month ago that Snooki from the dreaded "Jersey Shore" (which has, by the way, officially made Jersey appear even trashier to the rest of the world. As if we didn't have a hard enough time defending our great state to the other 49 states...) would be in the ball as it dropped in Times Square for the final countdown to 2011. Really? No, seriously. Really?? I was beside myself with shock, as were the other New Jersey folk that I know. (Side note: are we "Jersians"? "Jerseyites"? "Jersey-ers"? I never really was sure...). What better way to ruin a timeless annual tradition, MTV, than to put one of the most ridiculous "stars" from reality tv in the ball? Well, fortunately, I found out today that that will not be happening and I can once again watch the new Dick Clark (Carson Daily, is it?) countdown in Times Square. Whew! You can read the rather amusing article here.

Sorry Snooki... Aint happenin', girlfriend...
photo courtesy of Comedy Central

And of course, the dreaded resolutions are cropping up again: "I'm going start working out"; "I'll quit smoking"; "I'll start eating healthy"... No thank you, ladies and gents. I think my motto for 2011 will just be: Keep going the way things are going. No reason to put any added pressure on myself with a New Year's resolution that I will undoubtedly break within the first two months of 2011. I did try the working out thing last year, buuuut... That didn't work out too well. I know I should work out, but at 5'5" with the metabolism of a twelve-year-old and a scale that fluctuates between 110 & 115 whenever I step on it, it's not that I really need to work out. I did get a Yoga mat and some Yoga DVD's for Christmas, though, so I will be giving them a shot.

Ciao!
MJ